Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Bullying, Suicide, and Fighting Back

I've spent a vast majority of this morning upset and frustrated. Maybe people don't realize, maybe they don't care, maybe they don't understand. Recently, a local high school senior committed suicide. (Read the article here.) There have been several students who've said he was bullied, there have been a few who've been adamant that bullying had nothing to do with it. The school district seems to think it's okay to deny any responsibility and the local police force is acting similarly. Does it take having it happen to someone YOU LOVE for you to care? How far does it have to go?

So who do they blame, then? Is it just that this teen never asked for help? Was his supposed "troubled" past not him calling out for someone to notice? WHO do they think is responsible? If they are shucking responsibility, do they just blame the person who committed the act? (He took responsibility, by the way, for taking his own life and apologized to the person who found him. How can you not be angry????)

Do they not realize that just saying "We need an anti-bullying policy" does NOTHING to change the problem? My heart is breaking over this. A high schooler from the same school posted a video on youtube, which I will post in here. I want to applaud her for having the GUTS to speak out and stand up. School these days is a scary place, I know, I coach both high schoolers and middle schoolers. These kids are terrified to say ANYTHING because of the repercussions of their peers. They need support, they need strength.

On the comments to this video, a teacher posted that "...SUICIDE is a PERMANENT solution to a VERY TEMPORARY problem!  IT GETS BETTER!!" What an amazing quote.

My heart goes out to the community, the family, the students. I'm going to get involved. Life is too short, and it doesn't need to end so early. I'm not sure how far this will go, but stay tuned. I know some kids who are willing to take a stand against bullying.

Here's to hoping for a better tomorrow,


Tuesday, January 3, 2012


1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.
2. favorable reception; approval; favor.
3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

It seems to me that I've been confused about life, maybe misled about the entire purpose all together. I've decided (as of this moment) that life is all about acceptance. You get put into a multitude of situations on a daily basis, and whether or not you accept them determines your reactions.

Acceptance of 'things' seems like being a pushover to me. It always has. Why accept how things are when you can fight back? But what if fighting back is the root of misery? What if that passion to live differently is actually the cause of disquiet?


I've always been stubborn, just ask anyone I know. Hell, ask my husband. Most days I surprised he can stand me. I have a lot of fight. I don't want people to walk all over me. But I'm beginning to realize that it's my desire for things to be different that makes me so, well, angry. I'm frustrated that things can't or won't change, but that doesn't stop me from fighting against them. Again we come to the word acceptance. Maybe if I didn't fight, maybe if I just realized that I needed to accept it, I'd feel better.

But then again, maybe not. Maybe I'd just feel worthless because I didn't try. I'd probably still be angry, regardless.

So if I choose not to accept something, but it's impossible to change, how then am I supposed to react?

Perhaps it is all perspective? If I change my perspective, then I'll be more given to acceptance? But then, how do I change myself? Perspective is ingrained, it's who you are, it's how you were raised, it's a gut-reaction.

Is the key to acceptance changing who I am? Who I've always been? This seems impossible all around.

And I leave you with some quotes (like a few words easily thrown together can change the will of man). (Wow- that was cynical).

“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.”
-Kathleen Casey Theisen

All the best,

Monday, January 2, 2012

2011: A Hard Dose of Reality

Good morning world!

It's the second day of the New Year. I feel like this is important, though it's probably not. All it really means is that I must remember to pay a couple of bills before they slap me with late fees. It's 2012--but what does that really mean? Perhaps I'm due a moment of reflection on 2011, which was the worst year of my life. I'm led to believe that once you hit bottom there is nowhere to go but up. In fact, I just quoted that to one of my friends who has indeed hit bottom, but not given up. That's the key here, not giving up.

To begin my terrible 2011, you actually have to go back to 2010, where during the holidays my cousin's house was broken into and he was shot in the back and face while his wife and kids were in the house. There was a higher power watching out for him, though, because he survived this. Shortly after that, we lost my father-in-law. I don't think I'll ever feel right about what happened, and I hate that I lost my chance.

After my father-in-law, my cousin (not the one who was shot) passed away. He was only a few years older than me. It really puts things into perspective when you realize that your life can be snuffed out at any moment. A couple of months went by and I found a spot on my mom's head: Melanoma. They doctor told her that I saved her life. It's a heady feeling, knowing this, it's also terrifying. I'm begging you, check the people you love for cancerous moles. You might save their lives. After surviving the cancer debacle, Mom was fired from her job. As if life wasn't hard enough, they actually fired her the day she returned from having the melanoma removed. Jerks.

But for all the bad, there was also good. I wrote another MS, one that I feel confident about, one that I think might be ready to send to agents soon. Maybe this year I'll get over my paranoia and finally get somewhere with my writing. My winterguard kids had an awesome show in 2011, which took us up two classes and earned us several first places and community recognition. I was so unbelievably proud of all they accomplished. In 2011 I managed to dig myself out of some of the debt going to school caused me. I'm still up to my eyeballs, but I'm not drowning. Maybe by the time I hit 40 I'll have it paid off (haha).

Recently, with the help of a dear Twitter friend of mine, Missy Biozarre, I've started a new project. The Stranger Diaries is everything good about life, with reading, writing, workouts, and enough comedy to sate any appetite. Check it out and meet Megatron and Gandalf. You won't be sorry. This project actually has me excited to write! If you're so inclined, please visit my Facebook Author Page and The Stranger Diaries on Facebook.

I'm looking forward to 2012. There's a long way to go and a short time to get there (Smoky and the Bandit!) but I'm not giving up.

Here's to the New Year,