I've spent a vast majority of this morning upset and frustrated. Maybe people don't realize, maybe they don't care, maybe they don't understand. Recently, a local high school senior committed suicide. (Read the article here.) There have been several students who've said he was bullied, there have been a few who've been adamant that bullying had nothing to do with it. The school district seems to think it's okay to deny any responsibility and the local police force is acting similarly. Does it take having it happen to someone YOU LOVE for you to care? How far does it have to go?
So who do they blame, then? Is it just that this teen never asked for help? Was his supposed "troubled" past not him calling out for someone to notice? WHO do they think is responsible? If they are shucking responsibility, do they just blame the person who committed the act? (He took responsibility, by the way, for taking his own life and apologized to the person who found him. How can you not be angry????)
Do they not realize that just saying "We need an anti-bullying policy" does NOTHING to change the problem? My heart is breaking over this. A high schooler from the same school posted a video on youtube, which I will post in here. I want to applaud her for having the GUTS to speak out and stand up. School these days is a scary place, I know, I coach both high schoolers and middle schoolers. These kids are terrified to say ANYTHING because of the repercussions of their peers. They need support, they need strength.
On the comments to this video, a teacher posted that "...SUICIDE is a PERMANENT solution to a VERY TEMPORARY problem! IT GETS BETTER!!" What an amazing quote.
My heart goes out to the community, the family, the students. I'm going to get involved. Life is too short, and it doesn't need to end so early. I'm not sure how far this will go, but stay tuned. I know some kids who are willing to take a stand against bullying.
Here's to hoping for a better tomorrow,
Kacey
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Acceptance
1. the act of taking or receiving something offered.
2. favorable reception; approval; favor.
3. the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
4. the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.
It seems to me that I've been confused about life, maybe misled about the entire purpose all together. I've decided (as of this moment) that life is all about acceptance. You get put into a multitude of situations on a daily basis, and whether or not you accept them determines your reactions.
Acceptance of 'things' seems like being a pushover to me. It always has. Why accept how things are when you can fight back? But what if fighting back is the root of misery? What if that passion to live differently is actually the cause of disquiet?
Acceptance.
I've always been stubborn, just ask anyone I know. Hell, ask my husband. Most days I surprised he can stand me. I have a lot of fight. I don't want people to walk all over me. But I'm beginning to realize that it's my desire for things to be different that makes me so, well, angry. I'm frustrated that things can't or won't change, but that doesn't stop me from fighting against them. Again we come to the word acceptance. Maybe if I didn't fight, maybe if I just realized that I needed to accept it, I'd feel better.
But then again, maybe not. Maybe I'd just feel worthless because I didn't try. I'd probably still be angry, regardless.
So if I choose not to accept something, but it's impossible to change, how then am I supposed to react?
Perhaps it is all perspective? If I change my perspective, then I'll be more given to acceptance? But then, how do I change myself? Perspective is ingrained, it's who you are, it's how you were raised, it's a gut-reaction.
Is the key to acceptance changing who I am? Who I've always been? This seems impossible all around.
And I leave you with some quotes (like a few words easily thrown together can change the will of man). (Wow- that was cynical).
“You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt
“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.”
-Kathleen Casey Theisen
Kacey
Monday, January 2, 2012
2011: A Hard Dose of Reality
Good morning world!
It's the second day of the New Year. I feel like this is important, though it's probably not. All it really means is that I must remember to pay a couple of bills before they slap me with late fees. It's 2012--but what does that really mean? Perhaps I'm due a moment of reflection on 2011, which was the worst year of my life. I'm led to believe that once you hit bottom there is nowhere to go but up. In fact, I just quoted that to one of my friends who has indeed hit bottom, but not given up. That's the key here, not giving up.
To begin my terrible 2011, you actually have to go back to 2010, where during the holidays my cousin's house was broken into and he was shot in the back and face while his wife and kids were in the house. There was a higher power watching out for him, though, because he survived this. Shortly after that, we lost my father-in-law. I don't think I'll ever feel right about what happened, and I hate that I lost my chance.
After my father-in-law, my cousin (not the one who was shot) passed away. He was only a few years older than me. It really puts things into perspective when you realize that your life can be snuffed out at any moment. A couple of months went by and I found a spot on my mom's head: Melanoma. They doctor told her that I saved her life. It's a heady feeling, knowing this, it's also terrifying. I'm begging you, check the people you love for cancerous moles. You might save their lives. After surviving the cancer debacle, Mom was fired from her job. As if life wasn't hard enough, they actually fired her the day she returned from having the melanoma removed. Jerks.
But for all the bad, there was also good. I wrote another MS, one that I feel confident about, one that I think might be ready to send to agents soon. Maybe this year I'll get over my paranoia and finally get somewhere with my writing. My winterguard kids had an awesome show in 2011, which took us up two classes and earned us several first places and community recognition. I was so unbelievably proud of all they accomplished. In 2011 I managed to dig myself out of some of the debt going to school caused me. I'm still up to my eyeballs, but I'm not drowning. Maybe by the time I hit 40 I'll have it paid off (haha).
Recently, with the help of a dear Twitter friend of mine, Missy Biozarre, I've started a new project. The Stranger Diaries is everything good about life, with reading, writing, workouts, and enough comedy to sate any appetite. Check it out and meet Megatron and Gandalf. You won't be sorry. This project actually has me excited to write! If you're so inclined, please visit my Facebook Author Page and The Stranger Diaries on Facebook.
I'm looking forward to 2012. There's a long way to go and a short time to get there (Smoky and the Bandit!) but I'm not giving up.
Here's to the New Year,
Kacey
It's the second day of the New Year. I feel like this is important, though it's probably not. All it really means is that I must remember to pay a couple of bills before they slap me with late fees. It's 2012--but what does that really mean? Perhaps I'm due a moment of reflection on 2011, which was the worst year of my life. I'm led to believe that once you hit bottom there is nowhere to go but up. In fact, I just quoted that to one of my friends who has indeed hit bottom, but not given up. That's the key here, not giving up.
To begin my terrible 2011, you actually have to go back to 2010, where during the holidays my cousin's house was broken into and he was shot in the back and face while his wife and kids were in the house. There was a higher power watching out for him, though, because he survived this. Shortly after that, we lost my father-in-law. I don't think I'll ever feel right about what happened, and I hate that I lost my chance.
After my father-in-law, my cousin (not the one who was shot) passed away. He was only a few years older than me. It really puts things into perspective when you realize that your life can be snuffed out at any moment. A couple of months went by and I found a spot on my mom's head: Melanoma. They doctor told her that I saved her life. It's a heady feeling, knowing this, it's also terrifying. I'm begging you, check the people you love for cancerous moles. You might save their lives. After surviving the cancer debacle, Mom was fired from her job. As if life wasn't hard enough, they actually fired her the day she returned from having the melanoma removed. Jerks.
But for all the bad, there was also good. I wrote another MS, one that I feel confident about, one that I think might be ready to send to agents soon. Maybe this year I'll get over my paranoia and finally get somewhere with my writing. My winterguard kids had an awesome show in 2011, which took us up two classes and earned us several first places and community recognition. I was so unbelievably proud of all they accomplished. In 2011 I managed to dig myself out of some of the debt going to school caused me. I'm still up to my eyeballs, but I'm not drowning. Maybe by the time I hit 40 I'll have it paid off (haha).
Recently, with the help of a dear Twitter friend of mine, Missy Biozarre, I've started a new project. The Stranger Diaries is everything good about life, with reading, writing, workouts, and enough comedy to sate any appetite. Check it out and meet Megatron and Gandalf. You won't be sorry. This project actually has me excited to write! If you're so inclined, please visit my Facebook Author Page and The Stranger Diaries on Facebook.
I'm looking forward to 2012. There's a long way to go and a short time to get there (Smoky and the Bandit!) but I'm not giving up.
Here's to the New Year,
Kacey
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Writers are depressed. It's a fact.
I just want to start this post with a huge, gut-wrenching sigh. It's been a long month so far. My NaNoWriMo isn't going perfectly, but it is going. At this very moment I'm at 21,036 words. I should be in the 25,000-26,000 range. I'm not uber behind, but I'm certainly not ahead either. Usually when I get really into a story I can pound out 20 pages or so a day. My page count is 79 after 15 days...do the math. In case you're not a math genius like me (ha!) this basically means that I'm not in love with my story. It's not awful, it has a plot, it has believable characters, so what's the issue?
Basically, my characters are depressed and it's depressing me. Rightfully, they should be depressed, their lives suck. And a few of them have no redeeming qualities as people, which makes me hate writing them. Even my MC is falling apart despite her best efforts. I kind of want to shake them and scream in their faces "GET IT TOGETHER!!!" Of course they won't listen to me, they never do. But seriously, their issues are holding me back. How am I supposed to get excited about a girl who is so depressed and has no self esteem and only views alcohol and random flings as a way to survive. Yuck. She's just taking after her alcoholic mother, though. Oh! And let's not forget all the situations that make everything so much worse. Missed phone calls, ignored texts...
It's too much like real life! Aha! I've found the issue. Perhaps in the future I will know to stick only to the fantasy/paranormal/sci-fi. This real life shit kills me (and depresses me).
This post is depressing. I apologize.
All the best,
Kacey
Basically, my characters are depressed and it's depressing me. Rightfully, they should be depressed, their lives suck. And a few of them have no redeeming qualities as people, which makes me hate writing them. Even my MC is falling apart despite her best efforts. I kind of want to shake them and scream in their faces "GET IT TOGETHER!!!" Of course they won't listen to me, they never do. But seriously, their issues are holding me back. How am I supposed to get excited about a girl who is so depressed and has no self esteem and only views alcohol and random flings as a way to survive. Yuck. She's just taking after her alcoholic mother, though. Oh! And let's not forget all the situations that make everything so much worse. Missed phone calls, ignored texts...
It's too much like real life! Aha! I've found the issue. Perhaps in the future I will know to stick only to the fantasy/paranormal/sci-fi. This real life shit kills me (and depresses me).
This post is depressing. I apologize.
All the best,
Kacey
Monday, October 31, 2011
NaNoWriMo
Per usual, I have waited until the very last minute to make this happen. All of October I've been going back and forth with myself as to whether or not I should participate in NaNoWriMo.
"You should do it!" I'd say. "You love writing."
"I know, I know! It's just that I have this seasonal job coming up and winterguard just started and I'm the idiot that decided to coach two teams." This from another voice in my head. The one that likes to make legitimate excuses that I frequently ignore.
"But you totally whipped out a 110,000 word novel in 4 weeks before." Ah, yes, this one is not the voice of reason. This is the one that reminds me that I can do amazing things, even when I have absolutely no time for them.
"Well...there is that." Me. The real me. The one that looks back and wonders how the heck I finish anything.
*Sigh*
It's been decided. I signed up ten minutes ago. I even know what plot I'm going to use. See how prepared I am? And I'm uber excited to be writing again. Haven't written a word since I finished Antithesis. Pretty stoked to let that one settle for another month as well. I'll get back into it in December and work out any kinks that remain.
I know that lots of my writer friends will be participating, so search me out! I'm looking forward to sharing this month with you!
All the best,
Kacey
"You should do it!" I'd say. "You love writing."
"I know, I know! It's just that I have this seasonal job coming up and winterguard just started and I'm the idiot that decided to coach two teams." This from another voice in my head. The one that likes to make legitimate excuses that I frequently ignore.
"But you totally whipped out a 110,000 word novel in 4 weeks before." Ah, yes, this one is not the voice of reason. This is the one that reminds me that I can do amazing things, even when I have absolutely no time for them.
"Well...there is that." Me. The real me. The one that looks back and wonders how the heck I finish anything.
*Sigh*
It's been decided. I signed up ten minutes ago. I even know what plot I'm going to use. See how prepared I am? And I'm uber excited to be writing again. Haven't written a word since I finished Antithesis. Pretty stoked to let that one settle for another month as well. I'll get back into it in December and work out any kinks that remain.
I know that lots of my writer friends will be participating, so search me out! I'm looking forward to sharing this month with you!
All the best,
Kacey
Friday, October 14, 2011
Is it so Hard to be Helpful?
I'm having one of the days where I just want to strangle someone. It's not so much that anything is going wrong exactly, it's just that I'm getting beyond irritated with other people's inability to see past themselves and their own beliefs. I'm seeking help for my writing, yes, that's true, but that doesn't give you the right to criticize what you haven't even read. How could you know that my stuff isn't ready for an agent, have you read it? Last I checked, you hadn't.
*sigh*
I need to take a deep breath...hold on...
I am a pretty positive person. I work with teenagers and I believe in instilling hopes and dreams and having faith in a person and their ability to achieve something great. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in giving them delusions of grandeur, but I believe in encouragement and self confidence.
Maybe I'm just feeling defensive.
Recently someone told me that people should be able to give criticism in a positive way and actually want to help. Actually, it was a fellow winterguard coach talking about accepting help from someone you know is so much better than you. There shouldn't be the words "never" or "can't" involved. And I feel like in this writing world I'm getting a lot of that, from people who have never met me, never read anything I've written. It's just you're not ready, you can't do this, don't do that. But when am I actually going to get something that's helpful? I realize that when I post my query, I'm asking for your help, but if you're not actually going to help, why bother responding? I want concrete advice, not just a wishy-washy insult to my writing style (which btw, you've never read.) Months ago when I posted my first query I got SO MUCH helpful advice. Now it seems like I can't get anything close to that.
What I really think I want is myself, in the form of someone else. Someone who can encourage as well as give solid advice. I want someone who will not automatically tell me that my stuff isn't ready for an agent, but actually tell me how I can improve so that it will be ready. Stop with the assumptions, cut the crap. I've had enough.
I need a writing circle, some local people that are willing to work together. But since I live in Michigan, which is apparently a lame state, there doesn't seem to be any of those around here. I just want some positivity for once! I'm sick of being so proud of something I've accomplished only to have someone who's never read it tell me it's crap.
I'm not an idiot. I do realize that a manuscript isn't ready for agents a week after it's finished. I knew this when I was ten. But thanks for telling me again and again and again, just in case I didn't know. Maybe next time you could not waste your time and tell me how to make my query better.
Wow.
I feel better now.
Happy writing friends. You are all amazing and I know you can accomplish great things. Don't let other people tell you that you can't, because you can.
All the best,
Kacey
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Moving Forward
It's happened! I took my OB board and passed! Woohoo! But that's not all folks. As of a couple of hours ago I finished my latest manuscript. I don't mean finished finished, but I completed the first draft and I'm uber excited. I'm insanely in love with this manuscript, the characters, the plot, all of it. I can't wait for it to be ready to query.
So I've noticed in the process of writing this MS that I've grown a whole lot as a writer. I have hard evidence of this, too. During one of my off task moments (one of the many I had in the avoidance of studying) I printed out the first few chapters of my first manuscript. I've edited this manuscript about six times. I thought at the time that I was getting close to having it ready for agents. I took a red pen to the chapters. I marked the heck out of them far worse than any English teacher's nightmare.
So. Not. Ready.
Don't get me wrong, I love that story too! I love the characters, I've written 4 books about them. I want those to be published, too. Sadly, that's not going to happen until I work some more on them. While this depresses me, at least I'm willing to accept it. Writing is a learning process, is it not?
This has led me to the conclusion that I must query my current MS first. I feel this is a good move for several reasons. One, it is a stand alone book. I've heard repeatedly that stand alones query better than series. Two, it's written better. The plot is more succinct. I found my niche. The characters are very true to themselves and believable--but this is just what I think. I've yet to beta the MS. After my first swipe at editing I'll be looking for a beta if anyone wants to volunteer :) And if I query this MS first I'll have my foot in the door for querying my series at a later date when it's all ironed out.
Here comes the red light on all of this.
I. Hate. Editing.
With a passion. I hate filling plot holes, I hate grammatical editing, I hate rewriting scenes. All of this only in my own work, of course. I can edit the crap out of someone else's document, but only because I know I don't have to make the corrections. Motivation is key here people.
Another thing that comes along with the editing process is other people's opinions. I posted my current query letter for this MS and got a lot of negative feedback on it. Nit picky stuff that has nothing to do with my letter. My book is about a Ginger, some people freaked out about my usage of this word. I mean, really? Are we five? If you can't read a book with things like that in it I suggest you don't turn on the television or walk outside because something might offend you. I also got nit picked for my usage of the word dimension and given some mathematical equation. Does anyone know if there is a law against using the word dimension in a mathematically incorrect way? Please! Point me in the direction.
In all seriousness, if I'm using the word dimension in a mathematically incorrect way, is this going to make a difference with agents? I write YA, I'm not trying to get a show on Sci-Fi (or is it Syfy now?) It's not such a big deal to change dimension to "world" or "reality" if necessary.
Well I'm off to bask in the satisfaction of crossing things off my to-do list.
All the best,
Kacey
So I've noticed in the process of writing this MS that I've grown a whole lot as a writer. I have hard evidence of this, too. During one of my off task moments (one of the many I had in the avoidance of studying) I printed out the first few chapters of my first manuscript. I've edited this manuscript about six times. I thought at the time that I was getting close to having it ready for agents. I took a red pen to the chapters. I marked the heck out of them far worse than any English teacher's nightmare.
So. Not. Ready.
Don't get me wrong, I love that story too! I love the characters, I've written 4 books about them. I want those to be published, too. Sadly, that's not going to happen until I work some more on them. While this depresses me, at least I'm willing to accept it. Writing is a learning process, is it not?
This has led me to the conclusion that I must query my current MS first. I feel this is a good move for several reasons. One, it is a stand alone book. I've heard repeatedly that stand alones query better than series. Two, it's written better. The plot is more succinct. I found my niche. The characters are very true to themselves and believable--but this is just what I think. I've yet to beta the MS. After my first swipe at editing I'll be looking for a beta if anyone wants to volunteer :) And if I query this MS first I'll have my foot in the door for querying my series at a later date when it's all ironed out.
Here comes the red light on all of this.
I. Hate. Editing.
With a passion. I hate filling plot holes, I hate grammatical editing, I hate rewriting scenes. All of this only in my own work, of course. I can edit the crap out of someone else's document, but only because I know I don't have to make the corrections. Motivation is key here people.
Another thing that comes along with the editing process is other people's opinions. I posted my current query letter for this MS and got a lot of negative feedback on it. Nit picky stuff that has nothing to do with my letter. My book is about a Ginger, some people freaked out about my usage of this word. I mean, really? Are we five? If you can't read a book with things like that in it I suggest you don't turn on the television or walk outside because something might offend you. I also got nit picked for my usage of the word dimension and given some mathematical equation. Does anyone know if there is a law against using the word dimension in a mathematically incorrect way? Please! Point me in the direction.
In all seriousness, if I'm using the word dimension in a mathematically incorrect way, is this going to make a difference with agents? I write YA, I'm not trying to get a show on Sci-Fi (or is it Syfy now?) It's not such a big deal to change dimension to "world" or "reality" if necessary.
Well I'm off to bask in the satisfaction of crossing things off my to-do list.
All the best,
Kacey
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